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Nikki

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There's Parts Of You That Will Be Missed.. But I'll Do Alright [07 Jun 2006|01:12am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Today was a good day, for the most part.
Work, well, work went by fast for the most part but there was a lot of slow, do nothing, wanna scream moments. I heard a lot of juicy news, which is always good.
After work I came home, changed, tried to get my brother to put the joint in my lower back back into place, it nearly made me cry so the mission wasn't accomplished. I met Tina, Melissa, and Nicole around 10:30 and we went up to State College to find this beauty school. Since Tina didn't know how to get to State College, I drove. This lady told her that it was 2 blocks behind the campus, so we're driving around looking for it and there's nothing that seemed could be right. Meanwhile Melissa is trying to pick up some boys, completely distracted me, so we ended up going in circles for about 10 minutes. Finally I come to the conclusion we need to ask for directions. Melissa and Nicole go into a citgo station and a lady (who I heard has reallllly bad teeth) gives them directions, I called my brother, my sister, and Quinton to help out but Mike just confused me, Jess didn't answer, and while I was asking Quinton, Melissa and Nicole came out and said that they got directions. So, we're going the way this lady says to, and nothing is looking right. I decided to just follow a road and hope it turns into where we need to go. We're driving along, driving along, everyone's talking on the phone, Tina's just chatting to me, and I realize we're going in the wrong direction. I make a u-turn and head back the road when I see Hamilton Plaza and I yell "HAMILTON!", next sign we see is West Hamilton Ave ... I make one of my famous going to fast turns and look off to the right and wahhhhlahh there it is Empire Beauty School! .. TAHDAH! So I explain to Tina how to get there and that it's pretty much a straight shot from home except two rights and a left and all was fine. We head back home. I drop Nicole off, take Melissa home, and Tina and I started talking about moving. If she decides to go to the State College school, I'm moving up there with her, as long as it's before my mom decides to move.. which is another story I'm not getting into right now, I'll save that for another day. I miss State College a lot.. it'd be so nice to live there for all the time instead of just summers... the only thing is starting over at a new job. But, we'll see what happens. Anywho, I get to Tina's house and we both notice that there's shit written all over her car. Her sister and mom wrote graduation and congratulation words and thoughts alllllll over her car. I waste my last 3 pictures on "capturing the moment" and then take off.
It was a good night, I just had some annoyances. Oh well, shit happens.
I'm going to bed now, I'm tired and my back is killing.

Exploded

Confusion Plays A Solemn Tune [24 May 2006|08:21pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

So, I'm done with my training .. and I have less to do in 8 hours then what I did with 4 hours. Some nights it's nice to just lounge around, do nothing, and get paid for it, but other nights it really bothers me. I did nothing tonight but organize the cupboards in my office. I found a whole bunch of little pictures for a slide show of when the home was being built. The inside of the home looked better in the 80s then it does now.

Last night at work was hell, I left nearly in tears. There was some gospel shit going on and ½ way through the preacher comes back and starts asking me if I've found Jesus and if I'm a believer. I tell him that I don't believe in god, I don't follow a religion, I don't believe in heaven or hell, and I have no desire to learn. He drilled me for about 15 minutes and made me feel like I was a fucking flea. He was telling me that I'm just like every other young adult in the world, and that if I were to die that night that I better be willing to accept eternity in hell. It was just completely uncalled for. I told him I believed in evolution and science and not some folk tale and my beliefs are mine, he has his, I'm sorry they're not the same. I thought that I wouldn't get out of work until about 9 but I hurried up with everything so I didn't have to sit in a room with him preaching to me about how evil has shown his face and I got out at 8:30. Thursday and Friday I'm alone for church services again, hopefully those people are a little more kind and a little more respectful.

Anywho, I haven't eaten anything since I woke up this morning, so I'm gonna take care of that and find something to do. I don't feel like being at my house tonight.

Exploded

I Want You To Know It's A Little Fucked Up ... [07 May 2006|10:50pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

Ugh, I'm soo glad this weekend is over! I had to work 1st and 2nd shift Saturday and Sunday .. and I'm beyond fucking beat. I've reached that point where I'm no longer tired. I fell asleep in one of the dining rooms tonight. Thankfully no one important was around. I have 4 more days to go until a day off.. and I may not even have it off. I start the activities position in a few days. I'm not exactly sure when.. I was told the 12th and my supervisor was told the 15th ... hopefully it's the 15th cause I want a day off before I get into the new job.

I stayed at my dad's the weekend .. it was peaceful. I slept like hell, not like I ever really sleep well anymore, but Friday night I got 3 hours of sleep and Saturday night I got 4 and a half ... ehh, oh well. I managed to make it through the doubles.

Jordan was outside of work tonight when I got off. She rode with me to take Tina home, and we just went out and drove, sung, and did the good ole BSin' with a little public urination. I dropped her off at her car and came home.

My vision is starting to jump around a little... not a good thing. I don't want to sleep though .. it's only 11.

I lose this battle.

Exploded

You Scumbag You Maggot You Cheap Lousy Faggot [20 Apr 2006|01:48pm]
[ mood | nervous ]

the past couple weeks, I've been thinking that it may be time to find a new job. My paychecks are not enough to last through the 2 weeks and with what I make there is no way for me to advance in life. I didn't want to go look for another job being that I didn't want to start all over again with getting to know people. I just needed more hours. I was going to just find another job and keep the dietary just have my hours cut so I have a little extra money. Then I thought about just going into housekeeping but eventually found downsides to that. Yesterday, I go into work and about 25 minutes into the shift I'm approached with an offer to go full time as an activities aide. I told them that I would be interested in it and that I'd talk to the lady tomorrow. I woke up this morning, got ready and went into work. I talked to my supervisor for a few minutes. She told me she put in a good reference for me and told me that I would be perfect for the job. She says that she's sad to see me go she doesn't want to lose me but she's glad that I'm staying at the home. I then talked to my other supervisor who told me pretty much the same thing and then I went to talk to the other lady. She kind of confused me. Apparently there's a chance that the job might not be full time because they are changing some things around, they're not sure what's gonna happen yet. She told me that both of my supervisors convinced her that I'd be good for the job, and that I am very good with the residents. There was something said about me working the ice cream parlor every now and then but mainly I'd be with the dementia folks. I'd be making 10 cents more than what I do now for starters and then after 3 months I get another raise, which I can't remember what she said it would be, but in the long run, I'd have more hours and I'd be making more than what I do now, so even if it turns out not to be full time, I'm still going to take it. I'd be stupid not to. Polly told me that if it starts out at part time there's a very good chance that it will lead into full time, I just have to let things play out. So, come Monday, I may no longer be in dietary .. Hooray!! .. I just hope that it's not something completely different than what I expect it to be. Oh well, if I don't like it I'm sure I can find something else, but from what I see the activities people do, it shouldn't be too bad. I'll guess I'll see come Monday. I may actually have a chance at getting things where they should be. I'm used to having $200 pay checks so my checks will be more.. I'll just keep $200 from them and put the rest in the bank and save up, finally get my ass in gear, eventually move out, and be a happy person :) ... I just hope that, for some reason, this doesn't fall through.

Anywho, it's 1:45 and I need to get in my uniform and dry my hair.

Exploded

[07 Apr 2006|12:15am]
[ mood | blank ]

ho hum, isn't it the truth....

"lets never talk about this again, because i didn't want it to mean this much to me"


you have a problem talking about something that means a lot to you. but you wish it really didnt. you're the type of person who avoids the things that shouldn't be avoided

Exploded

Once Upon A Time ... [04 Apr 2006|11:13pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

so the past few nights, I've found myself thinking about a lot of things. None of them really on the same topic. I am very good at hiding my feelings from those who know me and I think I need to go back to that and not let people see what lies underneath my facade. I think it's safer that way as it saves me from being hurt constantly. I don't know, everything seems to be falling apart but also going in a good direction. The past week or so, things just haven't seem "normal", for so long my life was routine and that routine has changed. Tina and I haven't really talked in a while, nor have we hung out. It scares the hell out of me in many ways. Once upon a time I was content with life. I'm content now, don't get me wrong, I like the way things are going, it just doesn't seem like the life I knew. I've been thinking a lot about finishing growing up. I've had enough of living at home. I wouldn't mind it but it's the fact my mom and I are constantly down each other's throats. I really can't stand it anymore. My dad has brought up the subject of moving in with him but I couldn't live there. I would lose so much of my freedom and then there's the problem of my step-mom. If I do honestly decide to move out, that means a better job needs to come about. There would be no way I could survive on what I make now, not even if I have a room mate.Tina and I had a conversation about this a few weeks back, I just don't know if it's actually going to happen or not. I think come summer there's going to be a lot of changes. so the other night I guess I lost a good friend. I'm not really sure what the hell it is that I did wrong, but apparently I missed something. I don't appriciate being called a bitch when there is no good reason. I don't have much to say about that topic. As far as I'm concerned he has no reason to hate me. But shit happens, you deal with it, you move on, and eventually dementia sets in and you'll no longer remember what was said 3 minutes ago.

Exploded

Alone We Fade [16 Mar 2006|03:40am]
[ mood | content ]

Today was an uneventful day.

Work was weird. I didn't know that nobody else was to work with Tina so I waited until 3:30 to clock in. Well by the time her and Kayla got there, pretty much half of the dining room was set. So, we didn't have much time to stand around like usual. Tina wasn't in a good mood when she first got there, I think. It was quiet at work today, usually there's people laughing and residents fighting but not today. Everything went pretty well. Kayla is catching on quicky. I tried to get the daily teasing in on Rudy, but he wasn't in the dramatic mood so it didn't work too well. After I yelled for everyone to say prayer, I noticed one of the residents had their head down and was breathing funny. So I asked Tina if I thought she was alright, Tina goes over and looks at her, and says "that's weird her eyes are opened", so I got a PCA and next thing ya know they take her out of the dining room and a few minutes later there's some paramedic's and off she goes. I hate seeing that. It's kind of heartbreaking. Anyways, work went rather quickly. Once we got off, Tina went home, and I came home. I wasn't in a very pleasant mood, but all is fine now. I guess that concludes my day.

Exploded

On The Beach I Remind Myself That Holding Hands Is So Powerless [12 Mar 2006|10:40pm]
[ mood | flirty ]

yesterday, I was off. Not too much excitment there though. I got a shower, went to my dad's house, no one was there so I cleaned my car out. It took me 1½ hours to clean my car out half assed. It was bad. I left my dad's around 7 to pick up Tina cause I wasn't sure if she had a ride home from work or not. We went back to her house, then to Target, then I took her home. I came home talked to my brother for a little bit. Pat called. While I was on the phone with him, I decided to repierce my tongue. So, I went to the basement, got into my sister's piercing shit that she left here, grabbed a needle and pierced my tongue for the 3rd and hopefully last time. After that, I picked up Pat, and we went to Kings.On our way out I stopped to talk to Sarah as she was coming in, I had her going that she had to go to work today, she got rather defensive. I took Pat home, came home again, and watched Stuart Little, then fell asleep.

Work today was alright, I really didn't feel like being there, but it turned out to be an okay day. I worked with Melissa and spilt a bowl of pea soup all over the floor, it just kind of fell off the counter. The day kind of dragged but I've had plenty of more horrid days than today. I left work and nearly got home when Tina called. So I just pulled into Imler's and waited for her. She went to put gas in her car and I told her I was going to change and I'd meet her back at work. We then decided that we were hungry and we ended up at Olive Garden. God I love the salad there. We had a few laughs, a few serious conversations, and then left.

I suppose I'll go gather up my uniforms and throw them into the washer, argh I hate laundry.

Exploded

My Heart Belongs To You .. So Save Me [08 Mar 2006|01:20pm]
[ mood | content ]

Yesterady, I go into work and I'm out in the break room when my boss comes storming out and says "can I have a word with you Nikki" so I'm thinking for some reason I'm in trouble. I go back to the office, sit down, and I'm told that there's a 16 year old who is the big boss boyfriend's daughter and I am the only one to be training her. I'm then told that any person that comes in for 2nd shift dietary, I am now responsible to train them. I don't understand why they changed the old ways where any person that works on the floor where the new person is hired for trains them. The good news is I get paid 50 cents an hour more for training which will add to my paycheck which is needed. It still isn't fair that I'm the only one that gets to train. I guess the original plan was our boss was to work both shifts and train the people but she didn't want to work both shifts so they chose "the best person for the job", which was either Tina or me and since Tina doesn't get there until 4 I get the lovely job. I'm not allowed to train the way I normally do though they have to observe and fend for themselves. So, another problem occured to me. For at least the next 2 weeks I'm marked as a float which means the majority of my time is spent upstairs. So I don't understand how I am to train someone in the main dining room when I'm upstairs. I asked Nancy about it and she told me on days that I'm a float I just stand beside this girl and tell her what to write down. So basically I'm getting paid more to stand around and do nothing but watch this girl write things down. I don't know.
Anyways, Tina and I went out last night for a little bit. I went to wash my car and we get a red light and these guys beside us, about 30 years old, start waving. I wave back, no big deal, the light turns green, I go. They get behind me, I get another red light, they get into the other lane and roll down the window. I say "oh shit" a few times, roll down my window and the guy yells "did you miss us?!" I respond "ohhh terribly!" he says "good! That's what we like to hear" I roll up my window and the guy driving decides to be a tough ass and burn some rubber before going when the light turns green. The light changes and you hear the lovely sound of him not doing it correctly and them stahling and the passenger cracking up. So, Tina and I lost it laughing and I say "what a way to pick up some chicks" ... they stayed behind after that.
I don't remember what else Tina and I did, but I took her home, came home and watched part of City of Angels and went to sleep around 12.
I need to get my ass ready for work.

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Plop Plop Fizz Fizz Oh What A Relief It Is [06 Mar 2006|01:24pm]
[ mood | cold ]

These past few days have ben hellish.
Work on Thursday was brutal! Everyone was eating early and I was working with aa girl that isn't sure of anything that happens in the main diningroom. We clocked in and everyone was in to eat in about 5 minutes. It was rough, but we got to leave at 6. Jordan and I hung out for a little bit, we picked up Tina, and took Jordan back to her car. Thursday night Tina, Jeron, Pat, and I went to see Final Destination 3. It wasn't all that bad of a movie it was just like the other 2 though. Tina and I found some humorous parts and laughed quite a bit. When we came home, we dicked around for a bit and went to bed. I woke up around 3 in the morning to get a drink and my brother tells me that there's a problem and Mitch went for a walk. I asked who Mitch was and he informs me that it's his snake. Lovely! I just yelled at him and went back to bed. I don't really remember work on Friday. Tina and I came back to my house and watched Saw 2, I took her home and I think that was it. Saturday I worked with Tina and afterwards she went with Justin and Kelli and I went to my dad's house. She called around 10:30ish and we talked for a little. I called Pat and talked to him for about 2 hours until Tina calls at 1 in the morning bawling telling me to come pick her up. I picked Pat up on the way, went and got Tina, found out what was going on, went to take Pat home and we just sat in his driveway and talked. Eventually Tina perked up, so everything turned out good. We got back to my dad's house around 3:30 in the morning and went to sleep. We didn't wake up till almost noon and Tina didn't bring a uniform with her. So I got a shower and we left around 12:15 for her house. I took her to work, called Tyler, went back to my dad's house. Nothing exciting went on there, just a lot of picking on my step-mom. Tyler called me back around 6, I talked to him for a little bit. Then left to pick Tina up from work. When we left, Jeron was in the parking lot so Tina went with him and I was going home. I got a call from Justin then Sarah called so I switched over to her and she informed me that Justin was sitting at work. So I go back to him and told him I'd meet him there in a few minutes. Him, Kelli, and I just drove around discussing the current problem and we ended up at Kings. We were there for not even 5 minutes and I get a call from Tina telling me to pick her up. So we leave, pick her up, on the way back to my car we see Josh and Pfeister walking, so Justin picks them up. Pfeister's head was pretty much smashed against the back of Justin's door and he was still able to give perfect directions on which way to go without seeing. We drop them off, go back to my car, Justin and Kelli go home, Tina and I came back to my house where Tina cut my bangs ... a little short. I took her home around 10:30, came home and talked to Pat. I woke up a little after 7 this morning, due to my mom leaving. I'm not really sure where she went, but I fell back asleep and was awakened again by a phone call from Pat. I don't remember what was said. I went back to sleep about 20 minutes later and my mom calls. So I just decided that 8:30 is alright to be awake. Now I'm just waiting to go to work. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with myself tonight. I'm pretty sure that Tina is going with Jeron, so I'll most likely just come home. I think my mom is gone for 3 days, which is a joyous thing.

I should really learn to update this thing more often that way so it's not a damn book when I do decide to type everything.

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Ghost of The Navigator [24 Feb 2006|05:42pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

wow, it's been a while since I've done anything with this thing. They change some things around. Interesting.

There really hasn't been any excitement lately. They've made me the float for pretty much the next 2 weeks. It drives me nuts just standing there and walking back and forth from each dining room. I'm used to rushing around and having something to do, not taking my time looking for something to do. Apparently Sarah had a nice conversation about how I'm such a bitch and a bunch of other shit. It's quite ridiculous. Sarah's goal right now is to try and get Tina and I pissed off at each other. Which most likely will never happen. Here's one of the stories. Wednesday night Tina left work early and when I got outside Jeron was there. I told him that Tina went home. Well, him, Jordan, and myself, decided that we'd hang out. Justin called and we met him a few minutes later. Tina called I told her that I was with them and the conversation ended a little after that. Anyways, back to the point at hand... Sarah thinks it's a massive deal that I hung out with my best friend's boyfriend ... GOD FORBID!!!! She asked Tina if it bothered her that we hang out without her around. Grow up. And apparently I have this pattern forming around me where I steal boyfriend's. What the hell? So, last night I was kind of pissed off about that. Last night consisted of no conversation, Tina being in a bad mood, Jeron and Justin leaving around 8:30 and me taking Jordan and Tina to their destinations. I came home and I don't remember what I did. I went out with Pat for a little. I was planning on going to my dad's house tonight, but I think I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I'm not in the mood to do anything and I don't want to be up there.

If I don't stop typing, this is going to turn into a massive amount of bitching.. so I'm done cause I just got rather irritated.

2 hearts Exploded

[05 Feb 2006|02:15am]
[ mood | mellow ]

Well technically speaking it's Sunday. So Saturday, work was a good time. I had no common sense at all and I kept called cottage cheese cottage cream and there were other things but I'm not going into detail of my lack of brain. Sarah and I got along today, suprising, I wasn't called a bitch. We got a new resident who is beyond fucked up. The day went by quick. After work, Tina called telling me her and Jeron were going to pick up Justin and his girlfriend and Jordan and I were to meet them somewhere where we could go do something. Well, Jordan and I decided that we would just go do something and the others could go do something else. Jordan and I went to AC Moore and got iron on letters and a shirt. We came back to my house and made a Steelers shirt so I didn't have to wear my uniform to work tomorrow being that it's a free dress down day if you were football apparell. The shirt turned out, uh, nice I suppose. After the shirt was done, Jordan and I left my house and just drove around for 30 minutes talking about random things. I dropped her off at her car and came home. Tina called when I was getting out of my car and I talked to her for like 2½ hours. The conversation really wasn't there towards the end. So, she told me to stop over at her house before I go to work tomorrow. I can't remember why though? I went out with Pat around 12:30, we went up to the Horseshoe Curve and at the tunnel there's like these dolls hanging from a rope, this is the reason for the update. It scared me at first cause I didn't realize what it was so we went to the top and turned around and then came back down to investigate a little more. People have too much time on their hands. Oh well, it provided amusement.
I wanna know what's going on with my thought process today. My mind has def. been in some other location. This is what happens when I don't hang out with Tina... I become on the same brain wave as her, scary thing. Next thing ya know I'll be seeing porta potties that look like a "vintage fridge". Oh well, that's why we love her. I'm kind of sleepy so I'm gonna go wait for the bed to get warm, god that takes forever.

3 hearts Exploded

Desire [31 Jan 2006|11:15pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Today was an up and down kind of day. Work .. was work. Sarah is getting moved to the floors so I have to train Tiff for 5 days. We were done extremely early so I wiped out the disgusting cupboards. Tina and Jeron met me at work a few minutes late. We did the normal routine of just driving around. Tyler called, had a lenghtly conversation with him, mainly him doing the talking. Jeron ended up feeling sick so I took him to his car. I took Tina home, then came home myself to find a bunch of people in my living room. My mom decided to have people over for scrap book stuff. Ehm yeah, I just placed my self in the corner and didn't talk to anyone. I talked to Jason Lee tonight for a little bit. I haven't talked to or seen that boy in like a year or so. Since my mom was doing this scrap book stuff she had out all her pictures of me when I was little ... god I had some awful looking hair cuts .. I used to not mind the camera .. I wonder what happened. There's many pictures of me when I was like 1 running around naked. Such amusement.

Things have been so dull lately. I'll be exicted when Thursday rolls around .. I'm off and that's always a good thing.

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Here We Go [23 Jan 2006|02:23pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Friday - I don't remember much of Friday except I had to work the floors. I don't remember what Tina and I did after work. I know she stayed with me at my dad's house. We went out with Jeron and he told me that he needed to have a discussion with me about Tina. Tina was bothered by what he needed to talk about since we both had no idea.

Saturday - I worked with Tina. Jeron and Chipitz met us when we got off. I took my car back to my dad's house and Jeron dropped Tina and Chipitz off at King's so we could have the discussion. It was a nice discussion. We picked them back up and dropped Chipitz off and went to pick up Pat. We all drove around for a little bit and Pat got attacked by a cigarette. Amusing. Jeron took us back to my car cause he had to be home by 11. We just drove around and talked of pigeons and tattoos and stupid people. I dropped Pat off and Tina came up to my dad's house with me.

Sunday - my dad and step-mom came home around 2:30 and Tina and I left for work not long after that. We had a few discussions and work went slow. I went straight home after work cause I didn't feel like doing much. I watched some movies that were very dumb and a waste of time. Last night was the first time I haven't listened to Dawson McAllister in 4 weeks. Heartbreaking!

Today - I just came back from going to get something to eat with Jeron. He scarfed down some McDonalds in like .8 seconds. It's gotta be all those chemicals. My brother is being very nice to me lately .. I'm not exactly sure why. It's strange. I need to make a stop at Sheetz before I go to work which I'm really not looking forward to. Oh well, at least I'm off Tuesday and Wednesday

2 hearts Exploded

Here We Go! [20 Jan 2006|12:50am]
[ mood | angry ]

Today wasn't that bad of a day until I picked Tina up from work. I'll get to that in a moment though.

I picked Jeron up around 2 today and we drove around until Tina got home from school. We picked on her a bit and then took her to work. I took Jeron home after that. On my way home from Jeron's place, I noticed that when I turned my steering wheel to the right my interior lights flashed on. So, after being at my house for 20 minutes I went to my dad's. The lights in my car were flickering the whole way up the mountain. I was only at my dad's for like 2 hours. No one was talking. It was strange. I picked Tina up from work and her, Jordan, and I all got in my car. I noticed that when I leaned against my door the lights turned on. After coming to that conclusion I determined that my door isn't latching. We left work and went to Staples so Tina could get a folder and this kid decides to let us out of the aisle before he came down it, so Tina goes out, Jordan goes out, and there I am last, and he looks and says "I like your hair! It's really black!" ... it amused me being that my hair isn't all that black anymore. I don't remember where we went after that. But we ended up at Sears parking lot to meet Jeron and while we were waiting I attempted to fix my door but it was dark and I couldn't see that well so I'll mess with it over the weekend. So we just ended up driving around (like always), I dropped Jordan off and took Jeron to his car. That was the night.

OH! the story about picking Tina up.
She got out of work and said that Nancy talked to Sarah about her not wanting to clock in early because she doesn't get paid for it and Sarah told Tina that she's not going to talk to my about anything anymore because all I do is "go run and tell Nancy and Marcy everything that is said" ... I'm sorry, but I have never said anything to Nancy and Marcy unless it would cause a problem. Which was on 3 occasions. That pisses me off, I'm sorry but when you refuse to clock in early on days you work with someone who doesn't get there until 4 and you have residents eating at 4 have the decency to think of other people than yourself. It's funny how she never had a problem with anything until she found out that I answered all of the questions that were asked about her boyfriend which lead to him getting fired.

I'm done bitching cause I'm pissing myself off!

2 hearts Exploded

When I Come Around [18 Jan 2006|11:45am]
[ mood | curious ]

yesterday wasn't that bad of a day. Before work I hung out with Tyler for a little bit. Tina and I lacked motivation while clearing off the tables .. as usual. I don't remember much of work except me cracking up because the one resident kept bitching and talking about how the cake they had stinks and she wouldn't give it to her worst enemy. Other than that, I don't remember work. It was raining when I got off work so Tina went with Jeron and Justin and I came home. I didn't feel like doing anything last night. It was just one of those days. I came home and helped my mom move the living room around. We didn't fight for the whole hour that I helped her. I still have at least 5 days to go until I get a day off. I was thinking about switching a day with Tina. 10 days in that place is not fun. Well, I just got out of the shower and my hair is starting to dry.. so I'm going to get dressed and all that stuff.

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DAMN TAXES! [12 Jan 2006|04:21pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

once again I have loads of pork loaf! ...I asked Sarah to see if she could pick up my check because of the meeting and taking Tina to work ... well.. I go inside and Sarah's shaking her head no ..so I asked if she got my check and she told me the lady wouldn't give it to her. What the hell! So, my gas tank was on completely empty and I had no money left. So, I stopped up at the offices to see if I could get my check and she gave it to me. That's not the end though!...I open up my check and it's for $112.58 ... what the HELL am I suppose to do with that for 2 weeks?! They took out $84.86 for taxes. That is so not right!... After filling up my gas tank .. I now have $80 for 2 weeks. RIDIC I SAY!

Something else that adds to all the pork loaf I have is I took a look at the calendar this morning, and came to the conclusion that today is my only day off for at least 10 days. Not fun at all!.. I guess that's my fault though cause I told Tina I'd work for her the 16th and my boss asked me to come in the 20th to work the floors cause she was short handed. ROAR!

I had a good night last night and an okay morning until I got bitched at for not buying milk and now the paycheck... roar ..pisses me off greatly.

I'm going to do laundry until I decide to leave the house once again.

Exploded

Could It Be?? [10 Jan 2006|11:12am]
[ mood | amused ]

I've been at my dad's house since Friday. Deb went to Hershey so it wasn't too bad being up there for 4 days. Work yesterday was alright. I was writing Tina notes on the table with butter. I'm not sure if she appriciated it or not but I cleaned it up just incase. After work, Jordan, Tina, Jeron,and I all drove around aimlessly like always but had fun doing it. We talked about pork loaf and fruits and vegetables and a whole bunch of other stuff while we awaited Justin's call. I got a call from Tyler. He was in a better mood than last night. Or at least he didn't sound so depressed. Justin called a little after 9 so Jeron picks him up at the movie's takes Jordan, Tina, and myself back to my car. I take Jordan back to her car. Tina and I go get gas and I take her home. Well, when I came home lastnight... my mom wasn't home and my brother wasn't home. So I just assume my brother's out with his friends and my mom's working. About 20 minutes later my brother comes home and I ask where mom is. He points to this orange sheet of paper and I pick it up and read it. Somewhere in the note theres a part that says "I'm not sure when or IF I'm even coming home" ....
She told me she wasn't moving away until April. I may be looking for a room mate if she doesn't come home. I may be looking for another job too!

Exploded

This Is The Season Of Rage [05 Jan 2006|12:04pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

so while I'm procrastinating getting a shower I thought I'd write a bit. Yesterday began with a drive with Jeron around noon. We went to get my dad and step-mom birthday cards and then went into Tina's and stayed until she left for work. I got a call from Tyler and we discussed a few things. I took Jeron home and came back to my house where I had a lovely little talk about heroin with my brother. I ended up bawling for 20 minutes ... but I'm not getting into that situation. After our talk, Mike left to go to his rehab and I went up to my dad's house. Nothing all that exciting happened up there. I went to pick up Tina and told her the stories from my day and we went to Jeron's house to watch the football game. We left around 10:30 and made a stop at Sheetz and I took her home. I came home and cleaned.

Jeron calls at 10:50 in the morning....while I'm still SLEEPING..and asks if I can give him a ride to Sam's Club. So I wake up and go get him. I dropped him off after that and came home.

I really don't feel like going anywhere or doing anything today. I sure as hell don't want to work but at least I have Saturday and Sunday off. That's always a good thing I suppose.

On that note... I think I'll go get a shower.

3 hearts Exploded

Rip Off The Wings Of A Butterfly [02 Jan 2006|11:14pm]
[ mood | distressed ]

so I'm in distraught. I am so over whelmed with freaking emotions right now that nothing is making any sense what so ever and I don't know what to do about it. I can't even put my thoughts on paper without having another question running through my mind.

I need to get things out in the open to a person and I have no idea how to go about it. Either way, there couldn't be a more hurtful outcome compared to the feelings now. So, it's gonna hurt the same or it could make things a whole lot better. Nothing to lose. I've lost everything I wanted a while ago. Yet everything has stayed the same, with the exception of one thing. Throughout it all, he can still make me smile and still give me chills with just a look.

All of this pretty much sucks, cause I've got the chance to be with a completely awesome kid. ButI can't do it, due to the simple fact that I'm stuck on something I might never have. It's not fair. Both situations suck and I don't want to have to deal with either of them but I have no choice. You can't stop feelings.

3 hearts Exploded

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